Third Time's The Charm

 Some people call it settling.

There’s always a fear, a hesitation, call it what you will, when returning to an old and faithful recipe: Are we just running out of ideas? Have we lost our drive? Have we lost inspiration? And for a while after deciding to return to an old familiar there’s the dread (I know you feel it too) that it won’t be as good as remembered, or maybe it just won’t hit the spot this time around. 

But then, as you tie your apron (suiting up) and I crack open my laptop (locking in), the joys and advantages of returning to a recipe reveal themselves. The collaborative reflections: “I think we used a little extra cumin last time...Only put HALF the sauce to marinate the chicken...should we add EVEN MORE chilis this time?” And even better, returning to a recipe allows the freedom for more creative improvisation and allows you to show off the critical thinking and agency you often claim to lack. You don’t like to admit it or notice it, but the repeated recipes almost always come out better the second (and occasional third) times - and almost always thanks to ingenious improvisations that come to you with such ease that you humbly brush them off. Watching you grow as a cook has undoubtedly been the best part of this journey, even if you often downplay your development. 

And then, with the process completed, repeated and yet transformed, you take that first bite of chicken slowly stewed in a cannot-fucking-miss concoction of dou ban jiang, chou hou sauce, oyster sauce, chili sauce, etc and we shake our heads, conveying both our (repeated) incredulity at the dish’s deliciousness and how silly we were to ever consider remaking this dish as a form of resignation or uninspired routine. 

Perhaps there is complacency involved, at least what is meant by ‘complacency’ in modern America. A society in which the single-and-refusing-to-settle masses endlessly swipe, swipe, swipe, flicking their dismissive finger at the terrifying potential for a mediocre experience has no place for recipe repeaters, stable relationships, and simple pure contentment. 

Call me a ‘settler’ if you will, look down upon me for repeating dishes, for enjoying the very simplest of life’s repeated pleasures with you. But I cannot help but love the repetition! The morning coffee - itself an evolution and iteration, another repeated recipe which you continue to improve. The cereal, bobbing invitingly on a pool of the soymilk you constantly take inventory of to ensure there’s a fresh cold carton awaiting us each morning. 

And, more broadly, I cannot help but love, with every fiber of my complacent heart, spending each (and every) day with you. Like these repeated recipes, I constantly find in our repetition new insights. New ways to improve for each other, new collaborations, new ways to enjoy the very same things. With each repetition I see the opportunity to go deeper, find more, enjoy more. While the process for getting to that higher level might not always be as simple as say, just adding more chilis to a dish (although spice never hurts), exploring these repetitions and striving for new heights is a journey I’m so happy to be on with you.